Control

I had a bit of an aha moment this morning before the kids woke up.  See, the specialty children's sunblock I had ordered online arrived.  Now, we have plenty of sunscreen already.  But, last week I read an article about how we really needed this other kind because it was the safest and offered the best protection.  So I bought it.  And I realized this morning what I was trying to accomplish with all of this BPA free, organic, nitrate free, no hormones, paba free, no artificial colors, etc. etc. stuff all over our house.  I was trying to maintain control, trying to guarantee my kids would always be safe. 

And if I eat enough kale and cut down on my meat consumption and exercise regularly, maybe I'll be guaranteed to live until I'm 90 and by then my kids won't need me anymore. 

But, even if we do everything exactly right, there are no guarantees.  And we're never really in control.  Even if we homeschooled the kids, and never took them to the grocery store, or the movies, or to big events liked marathons in order to support loved ones and make memories, we can't guarantee they'll be safe.  And it's heartbreaking and frustrating.  And if we did keep them in a bubble, what kind of life would that be? 

So, we'll keep getting out there, taking small risks in order to live our lives to the fullest.  And, in the meantime, I'll change the station when the news comes on and try to keep the little ones from figuring out just yet how awful the world can be.  When they do figure it out, I'll remind them of all the good things and good people too.